Nigel Farage's Visit to Edinburgh

Nigel Farage’s Visit to Edinburgh Bob Murray
Tune “Johnny’s So Long at the Fair” (“Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be ?”)
A song commentating Nigel Farage's brief and unwelcome visit to the Canons' Gait bar in Edinburgh's Royal Mile, on 16 May 2013.

Nigel Farage came to Embra tae see,

If maybe he could secure just one wee Scots MP,

If he came back again, it would be far too soon for me,

And Edinbra just shooed him away.

He picked on a pub to meet with the meeja,

Without apprehending that the proper proceeja,

Was to politely ask first, but that’s not one of his feachas,

So he just did his own thing and went.

            Now don’t think the Canons’ Gait staff were at all slow – to
            Make up their minds and to tell him to go – to
            Eject him too soon was just a big no, no – to
            Chuck-him-out before he’d paid for his pint.

A taxi was called, fresh oot of the garage,

But whenever the cabbie saw it was Farage,
            {{repeat – change pronunciations}}
And took into account the people’s loud barrage,
Of insults and jeers, Nigel’s oot.

            But a second black taxi was quite soon emergent,
            Though the crowd there protesting was really quite fervent,
            “Back intae the pub” instructed the sergeant,
            Through its metaphorical revolving door.

            Did you notice the third “taxi” that eventually took him,
            Was big and white with a blue-light-on-the-top ?

With confidence brimming, I think that he spoke too soon,
If he expected some folk here to dance to his Ukip tune,
But what people saw was a pint - held by a daft buffoon,
And his song only lasted one bar !

            We don’t want your hatred, wherever you get yours from,
            Oh dear, what has the world become ?

            You shout at a racist, and he labels you “fascist scum”
            But his bum’s oot the windae. Bye bye.

            And as for your wild claim, you’ll find out that actually,
            We’re not anti-English, that’s total fallacy,
            We do like the English, they’re virtually family,
            It’s you, Nigel, that we don’t like !

It’s you, Nigel, that we don’t like !